"I'm a three pad man!"

A bit of a playful article from Gloria Steinem on “If Men Could Menstruate” reminded me in my gut of some of the truthful aspects of male privilege in a lighthearted manner. Personally, I appreciate the laughter from the article, the poking fun at masculine domination and how women’s bodies, through menstruation are viewed as “unclean” and how if men menstruated, menstruation would be viewed as another way men are superior to women. It’s a satire example of how it is not menstruation that proves a problem, instead it is women’s bodies.

I wonder if men could menstruate, would they also reproduce children? The article doesn’t address reproduction, just the blood flow and how it would pertain to hegemonic masculinity.

rape culture leaking out the collective subconciousness

In our class discussion today, on the reading, “Fraternities and Collegiate Rape Culture,” on how atmospheres in fraternities can be conducive to the rape culture, and instead of being able to get past the fact that it’s the atmosphere’s that create rape culture along with patriarchy, under capitalism by forcing men into these “man boxes,” we as a class had to keep explaining, “it’s not the fraternity, it’s the atmosphere,” It’s not just men, it’s a system, we’re not blaming all male persons for rape,” to classmates. *sighs*

I don’t want to be down on them, yet I feel like(at least the last couple of days) that they aren’t doing the readings, or even made it out of any of the prerequisites required for the class, with anything other than a grade. When they do the readings, it seems as if they’re personally offended at having to reconsider societal notions of rape. One of them said(and seemed to firmly believe) “Well, we shouldn’t blame the men for raping, when oftentimes women lie about being raped.” . . . . .

Thousands of things spring to mind to retort. A retort isn’t what’s needed though, a mindset change is what’s needed in this situation. *makes a face* Even women piss me off, especially when women buy into oppression for themselves and others and defend the oppression as “no one’s fault.” (Statically, lying about rape happens the same amount as people like about any crime, such as selling a computer then reporting it stolen, 2-4% of the time.) Yet, the societal consciousness is that women lie about being raped when they’re ashamed to have slept with the man, or regret it the next morning. Also, rape is only reported about 1/3 of the time that it happens, so rape is more prevalent than we even know and highly stigmatized in society, often blaming the victim.

Its such a frustration when it seems like those in the learning environment aren’t learning and we have to stop and keep explaining things to them, instead of moving past the basic vocabulary. It’s not that they can’t learn, it seems they’re deciding not to learn in favor of hanging onto their deeply set stereotypes and opinions. One of the girls, fuck if I know her name, said the research in the article wasn’t adequate from a biological standpoint. Well, seeing as the method of research was laid out in the paper, (not often done in articles) and assumptions were left to the reader, it seemed like well done research on this particular college(unnamed university) even if I don’t think the idea of fraternities being small rape cultures are generalizable to all fraternities, I think what the author pointed out about atmosphere lending to the attitude of “to rape, or not to rape” is generalizable. When the music is turned up, the lights turned down, and settings for conversation are removed, the purpose of the party is dramatically different than in a comparable situation where the lights are on, the music is background and people are encouraged to conversationally mingle.

Then, in the second reading, “The Anti-Rape Rules” the author considered himself an ally of women who’ve been sexually assaulted, or raped. The article pointed out some really good points about what to do if someone you know has been raped such as:
1) Believe her
2) Trust her choices
3) Take the hard road when necessary

It explained rather well how it feels to be man loving women who’ve been sexually assaulted or raped, yet still was problematic in the language he used about “letting them make dumb or hurtful choices,” because of his judgment on their decisions as well as his idea of “letting” women make their own choice. It’s a very parental, protective view and I understand the tendency to be over-protective when someone loved has been hurt, yet still, they own themselves and they need to be allowed to control not only who knows about the rape or assault, but they need to be trusted. Also, women don’t need to be viewed as asking for it, and often in an attempt to regain control and autonomy they re-label themselves as survivors instead of victims.

From the side of the oppressor

The last two days have been filled with triggers triggering the pieces blowing off of me. Yesterday, everyone seems ready to kill kids, queer kids, my kids, and all of us. I find it so hard to articulate my thoughts, when I can't slow them down enough to catch. I'm chasing and chasing these thoughts, knowing if I just hold still, these thoughts will come to me. Come and curl up next to me. Purring as they reassure me, of how I can be, or what I could be. But aint.

I aint good enough, aint strong enough, aint smart enough to give up. No matter what these people are saying and even when what I'm saying aint flowing I aint stopping. Because I can't. I can't stop or pause, or press resume on the DVD of my memory, I just keep going.

I lost the remote, she lost the remote, maybe the goddamn thing didn't even come with a remote, I sure don't remember directions.

Directions to turn on, plug in, blue parts, red parts, yellow parts, all connected by black chords reminiscent of the chords I see on the honors graduates and in the history of my country. Chords to tie back scalps, taken from our "Indians," chord to tie off air from the blacks- for daring to look up, look back, or just open their eyes towards a white woman.

And in this white woman body of mine, I look down and see… I see skin, flesh, amongst my anatomy of scars and strips left when my lovers haven't been good enough for me. In my body, I see colorblind racism, as I'm loving her olive skin, I see colorblind racism as I'm recognizing what it took for me to get in—

To a place where all I see around me is me, and I don't have to think about who my forefathers were, it's the dominant history. I am not anti-racist, I am not colorblind. I don't know what it's like to reconseptualize everything about my ancestry, when nothing I see represents me.

Because everything I see represents me. My history is learned into the palms of my hands, the deep red I burn when I stare at the sun too long, my ivory legs under thick brown hair, represent not only a part of me, but an accurate representation of America. America, the land that we love, the land of opportunity- for people like me.

And if I feel the need to change myself, there are so many ways I can distract my views and redirect my energy into who I want to be. My makeup come in flesh colored, and my nylons in skin, to cover up the hair I feel like drowning in.

I can't say the same for you, even if I want it to. This is America. And we are not all born equal. Isn't that as fucked up as it's gonna be? No? then why are we protesting, rejecting and twisting the stereotypes of the different people we see? To change something? To reassure ourselves of diversity? Diversity means other, and other I can be.

Other in my ivory skin of lesbian and queer identity. Other in my views and distaste for monogamy. Other in who I choose to love, to fuck as I'm resisting these normative notions of sexuality. Yet, me being diverse is not what anyone would choose to be. Me being ahead and behind because of white, white, white, pale skin is not who I choose to be, or what I settle for in my fight for reparations for ones not me. Me falling behind because of who I love and who loves me, is something I'll fight to fuck up in this fucked up, heteronormative, capitalist society. I'll rip off the pieces I can reach of my internalized position as an oppressor and say look… I'm ragged and not perfect, fuck off, here's me.

Not enough labels to go around

"Smear the Queer" is what it’s called

Apparently, it’s a game for children much like rugby. Each time it’s uttered, a laugh follows, of pleasure, with the possibility of sarcasm thrown in. pleasure in much the same way people say they enjoyed the movie, “Boy’s Don’t Cry.” A pleasure I reject.

Smear the Queer. Did you play it?
I'm to mad to rhyme.

Did you play it and never think of where it’s from,
Of who played it last or where it’s bleeding out?
Smear the Queer- Kill him off,maybe leave him dead.
It’s a game where guns don’t kill, children do.
So here’s how it goes:

Take 3-6, or maybe 7, sometimes even 8
Carbonate their pop pop desires, Shaking up their failing essay
Twist the top off, revise instead of threaten, no never threaten
Leave them alone, or together and add a boy walking by.
A boy? Did I say I boy? A boi, a grrrl, a neither
But…another human- an unlucky survivor
Victim lends too much power, the switch flipped on
(It’s not a fucking game)
Onto me, I’m not a fucking ball.
With my pink skin, which never tans
And stitches down my chest,
I am not oblong, I am not leather,
My life is not a game.
Do my eyes reflect to much wonder?
Or maybe you don’t know.
Everything we hear, we learn, tell me how wrong I am- how right you are.
Smear the queer? You’re still laughing, as you say the game.
Rugby for children, toss the football, then the tackle
Really never hearing what I said.
Smear the queer, you can’t remember.
I remember, she remembers, he remembers.
Even now they’re dead.

Masculinities Introduction and Problematic Freedom of Speech

Questions posed to the reading of “Five faces of Oppression”

What is the difference between free speech and hate speech? How do systems of violence protect hate speech?

I draw the line using the concept of fist to face. Where my fist hits another persons face, is where my line of freedom ends. I apply this to language as well. Where my words or language step over the line and begin to harm another person, emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, my freedom of speech stops. Yet, within the governmental system, free speech seems to be used as a way to protect the right to speak freely, if one is a member of the dominant culture and breaks down in practice with marginalized groups. We have to ask, whose speech is being protected?

A couple examples from class were:
-Georgia Tech, Ruth Malhotra: A woman, who according to my classmate, sued the university in order to use homosexual slurs as a part of her amendment right to free speech.

These are the only links I discovered pertaining to Ruth Malhotra:

http://media.yaf.org/commentary/club100_malhotra031306.cfm

http://www.studentsforacademicfreedom.org/news/1389/BuzzRuthMalhotraInterview051206.htm

Careful on that first one, it does a very nice job of devaluing feminism and speaking about how “leftists” want to burden society with change and force their “feminist agenda” onto our perfect capitalist society. Please someone be able to read sarcasm.

-Athletes calling each other by feminized slurs such as “pussy,” “sissy,” and “faggot” on the elevators in Pullman, and my discomfort with the words being used ever and especially around me, yet how difficult it is to speak up when they’re so much larger than I am, and the threat of violence is implied within their team and their vocabulary.


Is it possible for someone to exist outside of systems of domination? What is an individuals connection to the system?

-It’s possible to be aware of the systems of oppression and resist domination as well as resisting assimilation into one big labor supplying work force. My group and I, didn’t think it was possible though, even in a conversation about a separatist commune system, to live outside of the systems of domination. We exist, as mammals, as humans, within the system, tied through needs, access to resources and connections.

Another classmate brought up a valid point, about how, whether or not an individual ascribes to labels, still other persons within the system, connect them to labels through social location.


How does the myth of meritocracy (define on website)keep us from understanding/realizing the faces of oppression?

Meritocracy stems from a concept of individuals “pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps,” which stems from the old cowboy myth of the “American Dream.” Where if one works hard enough, through merit (one gets what one deserves), that person will end up where she or he deserve to be. Meritocracy also believes that we’re all given a level playing field, one MJ likened to a flat football field, where we’re running as fast and as hard as we can to score a touchdown, without taking into consideration that instead of one big football field, we all have different individual fields, some more sloped, or older, or a back yard lot.

Is hegemonic masculinity a form of cultural imperialism?

Yes. Where one, entrenched form of masculinity is considered the norm and all other forms of masculinity, instead of being considered just different, are approached as “deviant,” “negative,” or “bad,” it sets men up to be either assimilated into the dominant cultural definition of masculinity, or to be tossed aside with the aberrations, known as women. Passive domination, through not standing up and rejecting the unearned privileges also ties into passive racism, and racism ties directly into imperialism.

Alix Olson~ Slam poetry

Bits of spoken word according to Alix Olson

The Binary

This is a youtube video, not compiled by me, but by an individual who translates the frustration and the sillyness behind the gender dichotomies into a clip voiced spliced with the voices of Alix Olson and Andrea Gibson.

Links for amusement

Are you a genuine queer?
http://www.queerbychoice.com/palmistry.html

On ways to use the word queer(not exactly pc):
http://members.aol.com/qbchoice/PC.html

Queer according to Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer

Technological Frustration

*rants*

I am having such a hard time getting a powerpoint from Microsoft uploaded onto the internet and onto this site. I really think the pictures allow a good visual representation(albet scattered) of how my thinking process is proceeding. Yet, I can't make it work. Somedays I love technology, and some days I want to break my computer.

I try again. I fail. Yet, all great successes basked on the molding, dying back of their sisters in failure. What the fuck am I trying to be poetic about? ugh. *throws something at the computer and rants about gender shit somewhere else*

I'll go be gay elsewhere.

Why do I use blogger.com? Because google, which also own's blogger.com, has proven it will stand up to the government when the government begins digging into people's backgrounds. A "safe zone" on the internet. Still, I have so many frustrations with the way blogger is beign run and the difficulty to use it. *goes and bugs the tech people*

I want to be able to do this on my blog, much in the same way I can do it through wordpress.com

Separate links(for research part of project) *

Categories within the blog.
-place for brainstorming(aka blogging)
-place for formal proposal thoughts
-book review/notes from research
-works cited/sourcing page

website?
A way to keep the process accessible, academic and fun.
-Inappropriate Quote page(needs a disclaimer)

*People are more likely to click and read something if it’s shorter(kept to a couple of pages)

browsing through the book store

Why, why, why, WHY is it so effing difficult to find a book on sustainability/environmental science/ environmental justice written by a woman?! I am in Portland, OR and I just spent hours in Powells searching for books for this project. As difficult as it was to find books dealing sustainable ag or EJ that wasn't white washed it was even more difficult to find anything authored or coauthored by a woman. It seems counter productive to research the queering of EJ from sources that represent the model I am trying to get away from.

Yes, I know this rant is nothing new. Women, specifically women of color and indigenous women are severely underrepresented in the land of published work. Maybe it was just me being hopeful, but I KNOW that the majority of the work on this issue is not done by white men.

I did find some helpful books despite this frustration.

Story Earth: Native Voices on the Environment, Compiled by Inter Press Service

From the Ground Up: Rethinking Industrial Agriculture, By Helena Norberg-Hodge, Peter Goering, and John Page

Varieties of Environmentalism: Essays North and South, By Ramachandra Guha and Juan Martinez- Alier

From Guerilla Gardening to Edible Lawns

These are amazing. Click on each one then figure out a way to get all of the books in your hands. Then read them and start planting.

Food Not Lawns, By H.C. Flores
Here is the official website

Guerrilla Gardening: A Manualfesto, By David Tracey

earth user's guide to Permaculture 2nd ed, By Rosemary Morrow

On your mark. Get set. GO!!!

Oppression Poetry

The last time I felt her rich darkness between my fingers
Somewhere else, metal yellow talons scraped clean the skin from her bones.
Bones piled and cataloged from a people who never lived and therefore couldn’t die.
Patches rubbed raw and gray, filled with lead and the footprints of men’s feet
The clutter and drainage of their leavings- cum and go- after desire.
Days go by, and she leaves in the pencil thin shards, bits of violence
From the fathers, of the sons, of the toddlers who’ll grow up dreaming of raping her
Not for her lush curves, fertile valleys, or smooth landscape
But for the interchangeability and thus inherent ownership displayed by their paradise.
Her tears clog and catch in sticks and leaves, Screaming-She echoes off deaf ears
Ears stopped up with the decay of previously growing things
Green algae and frogs seem to be the only thing moving against or under her skin.
Packed under the years of bile and toxins left decomposing against
What used to be hers. Nothing has been hers, or even remotely female since the last
How many? She can’t remember how many it’s been, or how long she’s just been lying,
Dying, in a pile of waste. Unable to get back up after the last explosion.
As my fingers sink deep into the soil, less fertile, less alive
I wonder what it would be like to be able to remember the way she shone
Before the sun set, merely a sparkle-wink, on the lives of her children.

After Class Insights and Resulting Situation

class contributations:
-facebook
-myspace
-posters
-chalk
-demonstration in an attempt to get on DE front page
-paper with website link only on it in all the classrooms
(ask her style)
-flood site through all our own networks, creating some extra google juice
-get linked through from everywhere (all tomatoes and my blogs, and all our buddies blogs)

any other fabulous ideas? We have a situation needing a solution, we want to be on the first page of google and create dialoge on our blog. Anybody want to help?

Power systems within Genderplay

Power Systems within my topic:
Nationalism
Sexism
Classism
Racism
Proper Gender Roles vs. Deviance

Racism comes into play actually with the whitewash(prevalence of white individuals I’m researching) of my current research. If white is a race, and everything about the patriarchy has attempted to deny white as a race, then the easy access to white resources is a direct form of educational racism. Also, racism provides a barrier between myself and individuals of color engaged in gender play, because of my own social status as a white lesbian. I have easy access to numerous other white lesbians, and a few chicana lesbians, some lesbians of mixed-ethnicities, but not on as large of a scale as the white lesbians. The status of lesbian also ties back into sexism, b/c my access is limited to mostly women. My personal sources from my own connections are limited to one white FTM, one white MTF, and two authors, both white, who are a MTF who then said fuck the gender game, lets all be outlaws, and one FTM who identifies as a masculinized female. I’m actually feeling a little limited in accurate representation because of Racism, Classism and Sexism. The only thing going for me at the moment in the intersections of my topic, is sexuality. My sexuality allows me access to other individuals who play with gender in much the same way I do. Or allows me access to persons who are willing to think about gender.

On the topic of gender, there’s another point I want to tease out of my writing: most Transgendered individuals must pass for survival. What is passing? Passing is where a transgendered person, through hormone therapy, clothing, action, voice, gesture, characteristics(some or all of these) must emulate the sex the transgendered person desires to be. This offers a complication in individual expression and stress on the transgendered person when passing is not accomplished or is not accomplished easily. FTM’s have an easier time of passing then MTF. Also, when a transgendered person is mistaken for the sex they do not want to be, it can be very traumatic, or insulting to their self esteem. It’s dangerous to fuck around with gender, or to even buy desired clothing with this extra societal expectation hanging over their heads.

How do these systems of power impact or pertain to my topic?
Nationalism: When I think about nationalism, the stereotypes jumping forward in my brain are the ultra patriotic, conservative republicans who carry guns and hunt homosexuals. A demonized view of the conservative left related to religion and patriotism.
The second one, womyn in the military, often more masculinized, stereotyped as lesbians, yet fighting to stay in their military positions. (I don’t understand why they would want to, but I respect the decision)
Then the third one is the feminist. The individuals, male, female and neither, who are fighting on picket lines, working with organizations for rights and standing up for being an American against the war, and pro-humanity. These people get a lot of flack in the mainstreamed media, being represented as more than civil disobedients, as terrorists and threats to the American way of living. Mostly, they’re threats to capitalism and labeling people as profit instead of actually looking at the human cost to do things.

Sexism comes into play immediately for the women and men who step outside of gender norms, in educational opportunities, in a career searchs, in walking through a public space or using a public bathroom not labeled UNISEX.

Classism enters the scene when an individual chooses, or happens to exist outside of gender, or is considered gender deviant(for my paper this is defined as not fitting into societal specific gender roles), as their job opportunities and social opportunities drop lower then their parents status, even if their parents already existed at poverty level.

Cunt: a declaration of independence (notes)

Musico, Inga. 2002. Cunt: a declaration of independence. Seal Press.

-First book to make a difference in my life in college and change my entire way of thinking. Good societal (de)construction of the female uncleanliness and genderization.

Note: All my commentary is (in parentheses), as I prefer to engage with my notetaking instead of just blindly copying down items of interest from a book.

Call to action:
*DIY: Create a Cuntlovin’ Women’s Art Movement w/in own community to define your own art. (lots of work, totally worthwhile idea and so empowering)
* DIY: Challenge herself to only read books written by women authors, only look at photos taken by women, only art created by women, only films directed by women, only screen plays done by women.

Links: http://www.guerrillagirls.com/

pp.20-21:
Menarche party "for the newly menstruating" honoree wore red dress, her mother made a red cake and womyn brought her gifts wrapped in red paper
1995 interview w/ Barbara G. Walker

pp.22:
Pippi Longstocking as nation’s Covergirl(another book to buy again)

pp.23-24:
Align yourself w/ the moon by noticing her and knowing where she’ll be in the heavens wherever you look. (after doing this, my period began to usually land on the full moon)

pp.26:
Luna Press Lunar Calendar. Dedicate day of first blood as a time for herbs, tea and chocolate, a time to be quietly with womyn. (also luna sea sponges and luna panties-washable)

pp.31-32:
sea sponges, ~$1.59 each-instead of tampons. Keep clean by washing really well with hot water and mild soap before reinserting. Boil and allow to dry before storing in a cotton bag. Always boil before using again. Note: When sea sponges are full, they leak. Super important to keep clean. Use for a few months then discard for new one.

pp.39:
Who are: Toni Childs, Sade, Toni Morrison(all artists, muscians)

pp.49:
Reflexology? Where do you massage pregnant womyn to help encourage a natural abortion? What herbal tea recipes help? Musico used “imaging”-direct and absolute concentration- for 8 days, along with herbal tea and massage to naturally abort.

pp.60:
Naturopath: Holistic medicine. (I have been looking into these processes in order to incorporate a feeling of wholeness) Documentation of diet for a week and get entire family and personal medical history for the Naturopath. Naturopath being the individual well versed in Holistic medicine.

pp.70: Books to look into:
A New view of a Woman’s Body
pp.78: Queen, Carol “Real Live Nude Girl” 1997 Cleis Press

pp.86: Kinnie Starr “Buttons” song.

pp.87: Diamanda Gala’s vocal composition- Sheri X
inspired in part by Aileen Whornos(sp?)- a female lesbian prostitute who was/is a serial killer.

pp.99: Free box? (interesting idea to establish in other places or apt. buildings)

pp.101: Wilhelm Reich- male psychoanalyst- good. (why?)

pp.102: “Reichian Therapy” (?)

pp.108: More books: Our Bodies, Ourselves

pp.110: Dr. Jocelyn Elders (who is she and why does she matter in this book or ever?)
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joycelyn_Elders When I googled her name, Wikipedia offered this information on Dr. Jocelyn Elders:

Elders earned a B.S. in biology, an M.D. degree, an M.S. in biochemisty, and, after her term as Surgeon General, a Doctor of Science degree. Starting in 1967, she was a professor at the University of Arkansas Medical Center. In 1987, Governor Bill Clinton appointed Elders as Director of the Arkansas Department of Health. In 1993, as president, he appointed her U.S. Surgeon General. She was the first African American to hold the position. Controversy followed her comments about drug legalization, contraceptives, and masturbation. As a result, Clinton fired her in 1994, and she returned to her career as a professor.

pp.112: Audre Lorde’s “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” 1984, pg. 54 (my first experience with Audre Lorde.)

pp. 113: Women+Sex Stores
Toys in Babeland, Seattle, WA
(still current and open, I was there a few months ago)
Good Vibrations, San Francisco, CA
It’s My Pleasure, Portland, OR
(small but good erotica selection, and softcore style of sex toys, has moved a few time since I’ve been there)
Eve’s Garden, NY
A Woman’s Touch, Madison, Wisconsion
Ruby’s Pearl, Iowa City, Iowa
Grand Opening! Brookline, MA

pp.115-120: Cunt Book Wish List:
1. Playboy for Women About Sex. Joani Blank
2. My Gender Workbook. Kate Bornstein
3. Cunt Coloring Book. Tee Corinne
4. Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show off, Dress up and Talk Hot. Carol Queen
5. The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets. Barbara G. Walker
6. Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth and the Politics of the Body. New Paths to Power and Love. Riare T. Eisler
7. A New View of a Woman’s Body: A Fully Illustrated Guide: $20
8. Femalia. Joani Blank –Cunt Photos
9. Sex for One: The Joy of Self Loving
10. The NEW Our Right to Love: A Lesbian Resource Book $14 –ed by Ginny Vida.
11. Herotica: A collection of Women’s Erotic Fiction Vol. I-VII

Videos: Femme Distribution # 800 456-LOVE free catalog with self addressed, stamped envelopes.

pp.206: 1997 Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival (I have never, never been. Why haven’t I been?) weeklong world created w/ women. Only men change Porta Potties. “can change a lady forever”

pp:207: Zora Neale Hurston, Leslie Marmon Silko, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Diane Arbus, Maya Linn, Kathe Kollowitz.

pp.208: Musico decided to challenge herself to only read books written by women authors, only look at photos taken by women, only art created by women, only films directed by women, only screen plays done by women. (compelling challenge to attempt. I attempted the same idea, and failed very quickly. It’s a very eye opening experience to realize almost all mainstream media, mainstream anything is produced by men, for men.)

pp.209: Me’shell Ndege’ Ocello, Flannery O’Conner(Author of Well of Loneliness), Louise Erdrich.

****Call to Action: Create a Cuntlovin’ Women’s Art Movement w/in own community to define your own art. (lots of work, totally worthwhile idea and so empowering)

pp.211: Remedios Varo

pp.212: The Guerrilla Girls(mission statement) “Show that Feminists can be Funny” (response to the article, Why Women aren’t Funny, by the writer from Vogue, Christopher Hitchens) http://www.guerrillagirls.com/

pp.214: Recipe for starting activist group in your own town:
a. Pictures
b. Words
c. Reproduction and distribution system
d. Women friends with imagination, focus and motivation.

Disburse revenue into the women’s art world:
a. Buy BB tickets (buy women’s sports tickets)
b. Go to the theater
c. Buy cd’s and books by women(check out jill sobule’s new way of distribution)
d. Buy videos made by women

pp.215: WHO MAMMON IS:
(Mammon is the god of money who we all worship and have to pay homage to.)

pp.216: “two ways to make money in capilalist patriarchal settings:
1. Fuck other people over faster than they do you.
2. Whore.”

pp.218: No Matrifocal Mafias (Mafias with a focus on matriarchal value, or led by a woman) “I am a shareholder on this patriarchy’s land”

pp.220: Singers: Nina Simone, Shonen Knife, Sine’ad O’Conner, Yma Sumac.

pp.221: Musico’s sister told her, “Your face gets all ugly when you’re bitter.”
Kathleen Gasperini publishes the magazine WIG(Women in General)

pp.222: Other Magazines: Bitch, Bust, Hues (all feminist magazines)

How to change the Whitewash of the WSU LGBTQ community?

Notes from conversation with Margo:
-How to create a class dialog in WST 300
-raced WSU GLBTA
-lack of knowledge of available resources
-resistance attitude and stance
-people: LEO, Judy, MJ, Margo, Myst, Liz, Tash, Jennlynn,T, Nora
-support systems, psychological theory, pagan community
-systems and power mapping
-queer womyn of color: their intersectionality and power relations
Their stories, informally.
Where do they feel allies would be helpful and strategic?
What factors and issues are part of the conversation?
How does the dominant white male community feel about queer white females vs. queer chicanas?
Relate race to sexuality
How is the queer white community helpful and not helpful?
Do they feel the conversation is worthwhile?

Political action: principals of working together.
Digital narrative
Where is the queer community?
How to create this dialogue, have this conversation?
Find ways to work together with our non-traditional allies.
-safezone disclaimer portal page on blog.

The Kneebone's connected to the concept...

Concepts:

-engage gender play and activism (how?)
-online digital zine
-make an interactive website:
-multiple issues, downloads, blogs, resources, videos, audio, downloadable zine section(DIY printable section)
-connect with QZAP(Queer Zine Archive Project)
-interviews and analyze them, huge audience and a digital dialogue.
-performance pieces spoken word style
-political commentary, political art, and cartoons.
-art with gender play and politics
-queer as a way of life. How to queer your reality in 10 easy steps.
-as a call to action
-to steps to queer your role in food consumption
-grow a garden in drag
-queer biology
-alternate new sources
-links to activism and ways to create community activism.

Where is this topic(gender play)coming from for me?

Notes to me:

-I cut off my waist-length for a combination of reasons, one of which happened to be: I didn’t look gay enough according to my homosexual friends. LGBTQ discrimination.

-DJ(on myspace) gave me some ideas:
*a need(especially in the technological age) for a place focused on connection instead of individuality, where we can build a sense of community and bridge gaps between people, and their own thoughts and desires.

-Where is this topic stemming from for me?
Gender play seems to have always been a part of my life. I love to play up my femininity in an exaggerated fashion with the clothing I make, dream and design. I feel like when I’m playing with gender, deconstructing it, shifting the shape of my gender, redefining what it means to be womyn in a societal context as well as in my own life, I am creating gender. Within my own gender constructs, I am creating space for gender, as well as space for the fluidity of gender, methodology at approaching gender, a vocabulary to describe new gender and a place for change. I write my own myths and compose collective legends pertaining to my gender, even as I challenge the prominent myths of gender before me. This process of creation, allowing myself to dream, doodle and redesign myself provides empowerment for me and, I feel, a space for others to feel safe playing with gender.
Especially in situations that seem to be composed of life and death, profit and starvation, normal and freak dichotomies.

-create a dialog around gender construction and play and how that connects to activism and life in general. (social constructions of gender, weed and psychology)

Brainstorming:T-shirt slogan or blognames

Random act of Gender: Revise your Perspective.
Politically Activated
Nudging through the Masses

Genderplay- The beginning

Driving in the car today, I finally decided what to do my research project on: Gender play.
It’s another aspect of critically analyzing gender and the social structures that make up gender. Also, it’s a very important topic for myself because trans-issues, issues surrounding transgendered peoples, trans-sexuality and being trans-minded came to the forefront of my consciousness about two years ago.

Up until that point, I knew the rest of the letterers in the LGBTQ sandwich, but T alluded me. I assumed, incorrectly, that a transsexual was a man who liked women’s clothes- a transvestite, or possibly a drag queen who lived as a woman 6 out of the 7 days a week. Once again, not the case, but there was nothing to challenge my assumption and since I was already deeply involved in the queer community I didn’t think anything could surprise me.

Until him. He and I had run into each other a few times and I’d looked. Then I’d done a double take each time, b/c I was certain he was a lesbian. But… where have the boobs gone? I brushed it out of my skull until he and I finally met, at the College GLBTA association. We talked, we made friends, and as they say, the rest was history. He was transgendered. An individual who completely believes they were born into the body of the wrong sex (gender), often diagnosed or referenced as Gender Identity Disorder by psychologists. It also happens to be the only mental diagnosis in which surgery as treatment is an option. He really jump started my interest not only in trans-issues, but in Women’s studies all together.

He, and others, also taught me how to play with gender and not be worried if people didn’t pick the gender I self identified with to define me. Now for most people, gender is so well constructed and preformed it becomes invisible, to them and to the general society, if they fit into one of the two gender categories of male or female. Since this class is about the critical analysis of Race, Class, Gender and sexuality, I decided for my research project to continue the deconstruction of gender- moving it from these binaries of male and female and challenging myself and others to engage in some gender play.

How does one play with gender? Well for each person, different things come into play. When one is in a transgendered body, playing with gender is even more difficult than if one happens to feel comfortable in their gender construction. Playing with gender, always sounded like a fabulous game of twister in drag, with sequins, bouffant hair and yellow, purple, pink and blue dots -until the concept of deconstruction factored in. Then “gender fucking” seems the more appropriate term, as deconstruction or readjustment theories conceptualize the poverty and violence enacted upon trans- bodies. How do people who play with gender die? A mass percentage of transgendered individuals, with statistics based on Male to Female(MTF) transitioned individuals, work in high risk jobs such as prostitution, activism or drug dealing. Why do I throw activism into the mix?

These are the voices I’m going to be calling on. Transgendered individuals working towards getting a degree, gender-queer college students who get awkward stares as they debate which bathroom to use, People who question gender as a construct and take a political stance against identifying, against checking the box of male or female. This is the place where discrimination on campus begins, the application form. Are you male or are you female? Are you White, non-white or other?

So, for my research, I plan to interview at least 2 individuals, one pre-op(before operation) transsexual, and another healing from Sexual Reassignment Surgery(SRS), as well as writing up two surveys. One will be open ended questions and distributed to interested transgendered people online so the survey will listen to the voices of persons not usually heard and the second survey will be distributed on campus, I’m not yet sure in what volume, allowing people a chance to play with gender and respond. I will suggest some gender play activities, such as trying on heels, wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt, going into the wrong bathroom, or for the very brave, cutting their hair, all optional situations stepping out of comfort zones but that are written to be as safe as possible.

Another resource I plan to call on, are my own experiences in gender play. The change reflected in my visual aid of how I looked before and now, and the process of stripping away what happens to an individuals femininity when she shaves her head, for illness, for religion, for rebellion.
Then my last resources are my two favorite transgendered activists: Leslie Feinburg, the author of “Stone Butch Blues,” who self identifies as a masculinized female and prefers gender neutral pronouns such as zir and hir for reference, and Kate Borenstein, author of “Gender Outlaw” and a long-time performance artist who encourages playing with gender for everyone.

Works Cited:
Feinburg, Leslie
Borenstein, Kate

Abstraction of Gender

Our society is not a safe environment for an individual stepping out of gender norms, they are often greeted with harassment, taunting and “if it comes to that” violence. This is not only a trans-issue, or a “gay” issue, it’s an issue all of us live with everyday when we’re told we’re not masculine enough, or feminine enough, by our parents or uncles, or helpful friends and buddies. These gender stereotypes are unrealistic and unnatural expectations for children, or adults, all of us vary in our likes and dislikes and in our gender performance. I want people not to be murdered for something as silly as liking neon green pumps and having a dick, or buying all the smallest size in men clothes because skirts just don’t sit well on his hips. People are dying for the ego of our society. The cost is a price I’m not willing to pay. So my research project is focused on ways to deconstruct gender, people who have already deconstructed and played with gender and why this critical analysis and deconstruction is necessary to our society at large.