"I'm a three pad man!"

A bit of a playful article from Gloria Steinem on “If Men Could Menstruate” reminded me in my gut of some of the truthful aspects of male privilege in a lighthearted manner. Personally, I appreciate the laughter from the article, the poking fun at masculine domination and how women’s bodies, through menstruation are viewed as “unclean” and how if men menstruated, menstruation would be viewed as another way men are superior to women. It’s a satire example of how it is not menstruation that proves a problem, instead it is women’s bodies.

I wonder if men could menstruate, would they also reproduce children? The article doesn’t address reproduction, just the blood flow and how it would pertain to hegemonic masculinity.

rape culture leaking out the collective subconciousness

In our class discussion today, on the reading, “Fraternities and Collegiate Rape Culture,” on how atmospheres in fraternities can be conducive to the rape culture, and instead of being able to get past the fact that it’s the atmosphere’s that create rape culture along with patriarchy, under capitalism by forcing men into these “man boxes,” we as a class had to keep explaining, “it’s not the fraternity, it’s the atmosphere,” It’s not just men, it’s a system, we’re not blaming all male persons for rape,” to classmates. *sighs*

I don’t want to be down on them, yet I feel like(at least the last couple of days) that they aren’t doing the readings, or even made it out of any of the prerequisites required for the class, with anything other than a grade. When they do the readings, it seems as if they’re personally offended at having to reconsider societal notions of rape. One of them said(and seemed to firmly believe) “Well, we shouldn’t blame the men for raping, when oftentimes women lie about being raped.” . . . . .

Thousands of things spring to mind to retort. A retort isn’t what’s needed though, a mindset change is what’s needed in this situation. *makes a face* Even women piss me off, especially when women buy into oppression for themselves and others and defend the oppression as “no one’s fault.” (Statically, lying about rape happens the same amount as people like about any crime, such as selling a computer then reporting it stolen, 2-4% of the time.) Yet, the societal consciousness is that women lie about being raped when they’re ashamed to have slept with the man, or regret it the next morning. Also, rape is only reported about 1/3 of the time that it happens, so rape is more prevalent than we even know and highly stigmatized in society, often blaming the victim.

Its such a frustration when it seems like those in the learning environment aren’t learning and we have to stop and keep explaining things to them, instead of moving past the basic vocabulary. It’s not that they can’t learn, it seems they’re deciding not to learn in favor of hanging onto their deeply set stereotypes and opinions. One of the girls, fuck if I know her name, said the research in the article wasn’t adequate from a biological standpoint. Well, seeing as the method of research was laid out in the paper, (not often done in articles) and assumptions were left to the reader, it seemed like well done research on this particular college(unnamed university) even if I don’t think the idea of fraternities being small rape cultures are generalizable to all fraternities, I think what the author pointed out about atmosphere lending to the attitude of “to rape, or not to rape” is generalizable. When the music is turned up, the lights turned down, and settings for conversation are removed, the purpose of the party is dramatically different than in a comparable situation where the lights are on, the music is background and people are encouraged to conversationally mingle.

Then, in the second reading, “The Anti-Rape Rules” the author considered himself an ally of women who’ve been sexually assaulted, or raped. The article pointed out some really good points about what to do if someone you know has been raped such as:
1) Believe her
2) Trust her choices
3) Take the hard road when necessary

It explained rather well how it feels to be man loving women who’ve been sexually assaulted or raped, yet still was problematic in the language he used about “letting them make dumb or hurtful choices,” because of his judgment on their decisions as well as his idea of “letting” women make their own choice. It’s a very parental, protective view and I understand the tendency to be over-protective when someone loved has been hurt, yet still, they own themselves and they need to be allowed to control not only who knows about the rape or assault, but they need to be trusted. Also, women don’t need to be viewed as asking for it, and often in an attempt to regain control and autonomy they re-label themselves as survivors instead of victims.

From the side of the oppressor

The last two days have been filled with triggers triggering the pieces blowing off of me. Yesterday, everyone seems ready to kill kids, queer kids, my kids, and all of us. I find it so hard to articulate my thoughts, when I can't slow them down enough to catch. I'm chasing and chasing these thoughts, knowing if I just hold still, these thoughts will come to me. Come and curl up next to me. Purring as they reassure me, of how I can be, or what I could be. But aint.

I aint good enough, aint strong enough, aint smart enough to give up. No matter what these people are saying and even when what I'm saying aint flowing I aint stopping. Because I can't. I can't stop or pause, or press resume on the DVD of my memory, I just keep going.

I lost the remote, she lost the remote, maybe the goddamn thing didn't even come with a remote, I sure don't remember directions.

Directions to turn on, plug in, blue parts, red parts, yellow parts, all connected by black chords reminiscent of the chords I see on the honors graduates and in the history of my country. Chords to tie back scalps, taken from our "Indians," chord to tie off air from the blacks- for daring to look up, look back, or just open their eyes towards a white woman.

And in this white woman body of mine, I look down and see… I see skin, flesh, amongst my anatomy of scars and strips left when my lovers haven't been good enough for me. In my body, I see colorblind racism, as I'm loving her olive skin, I see colorblind racism as I'm recognizing what it took for me to get in—

To a place where all I see around me is me, and I don't have to think about who my forefathers were, it's the dominant history. I am not anti-racist, I am not colorblind. I don't know what it's like to reconseptualize everything about my ancestry, when nothing I see represents me.

Because everything I see represents me. My history is learned into the palms of my hands, the deep red I burn when I stare at the sun too long, my ivory legs under thick brown hair, represent not only a part of me, but an accurate representation of America. America, the land that we love, the land of opportunity- for people like me.

And if I feel the need to change myself, there are so many ways I can distract my views and redirect my energy into who I want to be. My makeup come in flesh colored, and my nylons in skin, to cover up the hair I feel like drowning in.

I can't say the same for you, even if I want it to. This is America. And we are not all born equal. Isn't that as fucked up as it's gonna be? No? then why are we protesting, rejecting and twisting the stereotypes of the different people we see? To change something? To reassure ourselves of diversity? Diversity means other, and other I can be.

Other in my ivory skin of lesbian and queer identity. Other in my views and distaste for monogamy. Other in who I choose to love, to fuck as I'm resisting these normative notions of sexuality. Yet, me being diverse is not what anyone would choose to be. Me being ahead and behind because of white, white, white, pale skin is not who I choose to be, or what I settle for in my fight for reparations for ones not me. Me falling behind because of who I love and who loves me, is something I'll fight to fuck up in this fucked up, heteronormative, capitalist society. I'll rip off the pieces I can reach of my internalized position as an oppressor and say look… I'm ragged and not perfect, fuck off, here's me.

Not enough labels to go around

"Smear the Queer" is what it’s called

Apparently, it’s a game for children much like rugby. Each time it’s uttered, a laugh follows, of pleasure, with the possibility of sarcasm thrown in. pleasure in much the same way people say they enjoyed the movie, “Boy’s Don’t Cry.” A pleasure I reject.

Smear the Queer. Did you play it?
I'm to mad to rhyme.

Did you play it and never think of where it’s from,
Of who played it last or where it’s bleeding out?
Smear the Queer- Kill him off,maybe leave him dead.
It’s a game where guns don’t kill, children do.
So here’s how it goes:

Take 3-6, or maybe 7, sometimes even 8
Carbonate their pop pop desires, Shaking up their failing essay
Twist the top off, revise instead of threaten, no never threaten
Leave them alone, or together and add a boy walking by.
A boy? Did I say I boy? A boi, a grrrl, a neither
But…another human- an unlucky survivor
Victim lends too much power, the switch flipped on
(It’s not a fucking game)
Onto me, I’m not a fucking ball.
With my pink skin, which never tans
And stitches down my chest,
I am not oblong, I am not leather,
My life is not a game.
Do my eyes reflect to much wonder?
Or maybe you don’t know.
Everything we hear, we learn, tell me how wrong I am- how right you are.
Smear the queer? You’re still laughing, as you say the game.
Rugby for children, toss the football, then the tackle
Really never hearing what I said.
Smear the queer, you can’t remember.
I remember, she remembers, he remembers.
Even now they’re dead.

Masculinities Introduction and Problematic Freedom of Speech

Questions posed to the reading of “Five faces of Oppression”

What is the difference between free speech and hate speech? How do systems of violence protect hate speech?

I draw the line using the concept of fist to face. Where my fist hits another persons face, is where my line of freedom ends. I apply this to language as well. Where my words or language step over the line and begin to harm another person, emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, my freedom of speech stops. Yet, within the governmental system, free speech seems to be used as a way to protect the right to speak freely, if one is a member of the dominant culture and breaks down in practice with marginalized groups. We have to ask, whose speech is being protected?

A couple examples from class were:
-Georgia Tech, Ruth Malhotra: A woman, who according to my classmate, sued the university in order to use homosexual slurs as a part of her amendment right to free speech.

These are the only links I discovered pertaining to Ruth Malhotra:

http://media.yaf.org/commentary/club100_malhotra031306.cfm

http://www.studentsforacademicfreedom.org/news/1389/BuzzRuthMalhotraInterview051206.htm

Careful on that first one, it does a very nice job of devaluing feminism and speaking about how “leftists” want to burden society with change and force their “feminist agenda” onto our perfect capitalist society. Please someone be able to read sarcasm.

-Athletes calling each other by feminized slurs such as “pussy,” “sissy,” and “faggot” on the elevators in Pullman, and my discomfort with the words being used ever and especially around me, yet how difficult it is to speak up when they’re so much larger than I am, and the threat of violence is implied within their team and their vocabulary.


Is it possible for someone to exist outside of systems of domination? What is an individuals connection to the system?

-It’s possible to be aware of the systems of oppression and resist domination as well as resisting assimilation into one big labor supplying work force. My group and I, didn’t think it was possible though, even in a conversation about a separatist commune system, to live outside of the systems of domination. We exist, as mammals, as humans, within the system, tied through needs, access to resources and connections.

Another classmate brought up a valid point, about how, whether or not an individual ascribes to labels, still other persons within the system, connect them to labels through social location.


How does the myth of meritocracy (define on website)keep us from understanding/realizing the faces of oppression?

Meritocracy stems from a concept of individuals “pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps,” which stems from the old cowboy myth of the “American Dream.” Where if one works hard enough, through merit (one gets what one deserves), that person will end up where she or he deserve to be. Meritocracy also believes that we’re all given a level playing field, one MJ likened to a flat football field, where we’re running as fast and as hard as we can to score a touchdown, without taking into consideration that instead of one big football field, we all have different individual fields, some more sloped, or older, or a back yard lot.

Is hegemonic masculinity a form of cultural imperialism?

Yes. Where one, entrenched form of masculinity is considered the norm and all other forms of masculinity, instead of being considered just different, are approached as “deviant,” “negative,” or “bad,” it sets men up to be either assimilated into the dominant cultural definition of masculinity, or to be tossed aside with the aberrations, known as women. Passive domination, through not standing up and rejecting the unearned privileges also ties into passive racism, and racism ties directly into imperialism.

Alix Olson~ Slam poetry

Bits of spoken word according to Alix Olson